“How rare and beautiful it is to even exist” Sleeping at Last declares in the song Saturn, and I agree. How strange, rare, and beautiful.
How rare, to exist in this precious, curious, temperamental universe. How beautiful, to exist in the wonder of this life. How confusing, to exist in this mess of a moment. How thrilling, to exist at all.
There are a few moments in my life when I’ve felt in a very tangible way like there is something inexplicably and overwhelmingly bigger existing in the space that we also exist in. One moment was surrounded by the swelling red rocks in the Garden of the Gods in Colorado. One was last winter, watching the water and ice crash into the end of the pier in Holland, Michigan. And one moment was standing on the other side of that same lake a few days ago with the muffled, chilled air scraping our backbones as we surveyed this view. How rare, how beautiful.
I am not a girl of faith. My beliefs are about as steadfast as a breeze, and I keep hoping one day my faith will stop shaking, but it quivers on. This week has brought news that no one wants to hear, and that news has brought questions to my heart. How confusing it is to exist and make sense of this universe. How frustrating to feel the hurt of a broken world. How lonely to ask questions with no reply.
How broken and how scared, how the chilled breath of reality scrapes our backbones. But how rare, and how beautiful. And we quiver on.
(We’re trying out a new theme! I’m not planning to stay with this one for too long, but it works for what we have now. The simplicity is fun, but I’m hoping for more of a portfolio layout at some point. I have to learn how to make WordPress do that first… ha. I’m bad at blogging, friends, in case you hadn’t picked up yet. I said in my last post I’m beginning to embrace this as the learning and trial experience that it is, and maybe it’s too much embracing if I admit my amateur status in every post, but hey. This is where we are. All criticism and feedback along the way, along with encouragement and helpful advice, is totally welcome!)