I typed the title “Things I’m Learning” and now I’m just sitting and watching the cursor blink on my phone. I asked a camp friend yesterday what God has been teaching him lately and he replied that God is still in the middle of something and he can’t quite figure it out.
And maybe it’s because the summer isn’t quite done yet, and I need a little more space to sort through these lessons, but I’m not quite sure what God has been teaching me either. Looking back over my camp experience so far doesn’t leave me with one clear message or principle or lesson that I can walk away with. There has been no new revelation or realization either.
I thought this summer would make my calling and path more clear. I thought it would help me to figure out more of who I am and what my strengths are, but if anything I’m more confused. I’m not sure what I’ve been learning either.
God’s in the middle of something with me too, and I haven’t quite figured out what it is.
It’s something about the beauty of way that the lake likes to ripple softly in the mornings here at camp. The patience of the late night bathroom trips. The prayers we send up daily that all sound exactly the same but are sincere every time. The tears we’ve cried together and and the hugs and high fives of victory. The improv verses of “Celebrate Jesus” when we’re so excited we could bust. The way I just used a corporate “we” to describe the people here at camp, a “we” that I feel totally a part of. The dorky, embarrassing in public, amazing and accepting and supportive “we”. The family here.
It’s something about grace for today and hope for tomorrow. The strength that fills up my weaknesses. Thankfulness and joy in every situation. The height and depth and width of Jesus’ love.
I’m learning that lessons don’t always come in bullet points. They can’t always be summarized into a clear sentence or thought or blog post. And I think more often than not, God is in the middle of something with us.
Its hard to see the lessons when you are in the middle of them. But the middle isn’t a bad place to be. The succinctly explained lessons can wait. Finding my strengths and gifts and path can wait. I didn’t used to be a person who could say this, but I’m okay without having the perfect words for what I’m feeling and learning or the perfect plan for where I’m going. It takes a little patience and faith, but I’m finding contentment in the grace of the middle. The One who promises to complete the work He starts is here with us.